Today's teens who want to go to college must get top grades, compete
in extracurricular activities and often hold down jobs. Classes usually
are too big for individual help. Schools are sometimes dangerous. Many
students have broken families. Drugs and alcohol are common and tempting.
Face it. Students today are lucky to survive, let alone thrive. Parents
can help teens by setting reasonable priorities and expectations.
The most important rule is to reward for effort, not achievement.
If teens try, whether it's to get a better grade, make the team or lose
weight, their effort should be acknowledged. Parents who harp about
failure, or who expect near perfection, can do a lot of damage. Teens
who feel loved, valued and acknowledged, no matter what, try harder.
Allow teens to pursue their passions. If they prefer arts to commerce,
parents must let them go for it. They'll get more satisfaction and have
more success. Driving them too hard in a certain direction can backfire.
At the same time, parents have to drive the message to their children
that their future relies on a solid education. Parents can help set
rules about how much time to devote to homework. For example, children
may be allowed to watch TV once homework is done.It’s best to let
go at sometimes so if the children choose not to do it, let them deal
with the consequences - poorer grades and no TV . But one must be alert
to realise when guidance is required. If they're trying to do well at
everything and failing, help them organize and prioritize.
Meanwhile, join school PTA and booster clubs. Meet your teens' teachers.
If there's a problem, don't blame the schools and don't let them blame
you.
If grades are chronically low or steadily falling, or if a typically
enthusiastic student skips school and neglects homework, check it out.
It could be anything - depression, stress, heartbreak, drugs, poor physical
self-image, social immaturity, a death or divorce in the family, friction
at home or school or even a learning disability. Any of these problems
requires support from parents and, in some cases, professionals.
Some tips that prove effective most of the times, are:
Be a friend- Talking to the kids about their issues helps them ease
out. If they know that come what may, if there isn’t any pressure
from their parents, children tend to be more relaxed. Try to be as open
as possible to understand what their problems are.
Encourage hobbies- Try and make children be involved in something
other than books. Also, be involved in their hobbies. This shows that
you trust them and believe in them.
Instil the ‘move on’ attitude- Parents must teach their kids how
to learn from past failures and mistakes. They must teach them to be
strong and not worry about scores but to be determined in their efforts.
At the end of it, parents can play a very positive role in their kid’s
development and give them a relatively stress free life.
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