Negative impact of putting pressure on kids

Negative impact of putting pressure on kids

Just take a minute and ask the following questions to yourself and try to be honest with your thoughts. (Don’t try to fool yourself) Have you ever had to do something compulsorily because your parents or friends wanted you to? Did you really want to do it yourself? Did you like it? Have ever regretted not challenging that thought?

I think that you might have been struck by lightning, isn’t it? Yes, if the answers of this small self assessment leave you gloomy and sulky, you, my friend, have been a victim of parental or peer pressure. The consolation for you is that, you are not the only one. There is a multitude of kids, teens and people who are bogged down by such pressures which eventually makes them really unhappy and depressed. But another point to think about is that would you like your child to be exactly in the state you are right now, unhappy?

In the world today, parental-peer pressure has reached unbearable limits. From parents this pressure is basically towards building a good career. Many times continuing the family ‘legacy’ is important for most parents. For instance, if you come from a family of doctors, chances are, you will be expected to become one, too, regardless of your capacity or inclination. When one or both parents are achievers, they don’t see any reason for their talents not to manifest themselves in their children.

Some average income earners force kids to excel beyond their abilities so they can avail of scholarship grants and minimize the cost of schooling in their budget.

What consequently happens is that-

1) Children can get easily frustrated.

Children under great pressure become very unhappy with one or two little mistakes. They may start blaming themselves for the slightest setback. They may start having sleepless nights. They will take every mistake of failure as the ‘end of it all.'

2) Children become misguided.

When the pressure is too much, the child no longer sees knowledge and the acquisition of knowledge as goals.

3) Children become fearful.

With expectations set high, children may fear punishment from their parents every time they fall short. If children have difficulty in certain subjects or areas, they need support and guidance early on. However, since they are afraid of ‘disappointing’ their parents, they will not come out and admit having issues.

4) Children may become socially isolated when bragged about.

Constant bragging of parents about their children to others may not always be well received. A child may develop either an unhealthy superiority or inferiority complex. The feeling of being better than everybody else, because a child was constantly drilled that he or she is can result in ostracism by peers. Similarly, feeling inferior to others may cause children to retreat into their shells.

5) Children measure self-worth with achievements.

When children hear their parents comparing them with others, it only translates to two messages: either “Mommy and Daddy love me because I am perfect,” or “They say I’m not as good as the other kids.”

6) Children may resort to drastic physical harms.

Being frustrated with the mounting pressure, children may even resort to committing suicide or on the opposite side, harming others through violent means.

Remember-

As a parent you must realise that you must let them learn at their own pace, and be there to hold their hand when they need it. Keep in mind that accomplishments in infancy, toddler years, and preschool years do not necessarily predict a child’s success in adulthood.

Just as parents do best, love and accept your children for whom they are. Allow them to be themselves and hit that road the way they see it. Each child is unique. Respect their ways of learning, growing, and thinking. Ultimately, children’s true measure of greatness depends on the guidance and values their parents give them.

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